Balance: Letting Someone Else Cook

I went to yoga last night. Finally. It only took my husband coming home, forcibly taking the knife out of my hand (I was making dinner, not threatening him with it) and kicking me out of the house. I left kicking and screaming. Mostly, I was grumbling about how I needed to finish making dinner AND clean the house AND I hadn’t showered AND and I was tired AND I didn’t feel like doing yoga anyway. Basically, I sounded like a toddler who hadn’t taken a nap. Which probably isn’t far from my mental state at this point.

It was worth it. The class was amazing. I left feeling energized, relaxed, cared for. The simple act of my yoga instructor sharing her lavender essential oil almost made me cry. Apparently I had been craving that care. Most importantly though, I overheard multiple conversations that the instructor had with members of the class. Quite a few of them were moms who were talking about how long it had been since they had made it to a class. I wanted to run over and hug them and tell them how important it was to take time for themselves. To tell them I would find a way to support them to make it happen.

Then I remembered that I’m one of those moms. It’s been months since I’ve been to that class. It always seems like there's something else to get done or I feel too tired and can’t push myself to go. When I have free time it’s hard to choose what to do. I feel like I should use it to run errands or do something to take care of my family. It is easy for me to take care of others, but I am incredibly resistant to doing the things that make me feel good. I haven’t exactly figured out why that is, but I do know that they end up at the bottom of my to do list.

Barley doesn't need any help remembering to take a moment for herself

For me, it takes a reminder (or a big push) from someone else to finally do it. So here it is, I can’t watch your kids so you can go to yoga. I can’t be your workout partner or come over and clean your house. I have my own mess to deal with, but I am going to encourage you to take a moment for yourself. This gets lost, whether you have kids or not. Maybe that means leaning on your partner or calling on a friend. Perhaps it means hiring a babysitter, or at the very least setting aside 30 minutes to do something that brings you joy after the kids are in bed or your day is done. I often feel like asking for help is admitting failure. But I’m here to remind you of what you already know, taking care of yourself will make you a better parent, friend, partner, and person. Taking care of yourself allows you to take care of others. Taking care of yourself teaches your kids to take care of themselves. If you can’t bring yourself to do it for you (you may be as crazy as me and should probably get help) do it for all of the other wonderful people in your life.

C is happy when I do things that make me happy

In my family one of the ways my partner and I have found some balance is by each taking a morning on the weekends. On Saturdays I get up with C and S can do what he wants. That can be sleeping in, hanging out with us, going to the gym, working on projects. He may end up having coffee with us, but mentally it’s a break. He knows he’s free to decide to do what he wants with his time. On Sunday it’s my turn. I usually sleep in, but I love knowing that I can do anything I want. Each of us having a morning to ourselves keeps us balanced and happy.

However, this past Saturday S did something that made me feel terrible. He got up on Saturday (my day to do that) and let me sleep in. He also made me coffee in bed and made breakfast. I can not begin to describe to you the amount of guilt I felt when I woke up. Then I took one bite of the amazing breakfast he had made and it was all worth it. He is an incredible cook. I didn’t let go of all the guilt, but I realized that he loves being able to care for me as much as I love caring for him. I was much happier for the extra sleep and being cared for and he liked being leaned on a little. It was amazing. So, in honor of letting other people do things for you and taking the time to care for yourself I am sharing the amazing breakfast S made for me. Ask someone to make it for you. It tastes a lot better without a side of guilt.

There are very few pictures, because I didn’t do a single thing to make it happen. So you only get my happy about to dig in shot.

Eggs a la S

Butter

Kale - torn

Diced Italian Sweet Red Pepper (really any red will do, but the sweetness of this one made the meal extra special)

Eggs (farm fresh if possible)

Parmesan cheese

Ice Cubes

Add a little butter to the pan (less than 1 tablespoon)
Add the kale and pepper and saute until the kale has just brightened
Flatten out the kale and pepper to make a bed for the eggs
Drop the eggs on top
Add the ice cube on top of the eggs
Cover
Cook until the eggs are just done (around 2 minutes); The top will be opaque, but the yoke will still be jiggly
Serve to someone you love